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Apple vs. Microsoft, By the Numbers

CmdrTaco posted more than 3 years ago | from the zero-is-a-number-right dept.

Microsoft 296

CWmike writes "It's a matter of opinion which company makes the better operating system or is likely to grow its smartphone market share. But numbers don't lie — or exaggerate. A little less than a year ago, Wall Street reached a Microsoft vs. Apple milestone: for the first time, Apple's corporate value surpassed Microsoft's. What has happened since? With Apple due to report its latest quarterly earnings on Wednesday — Microsoft reports its numbers next week — we look at some recent numbers, as well as data over time."

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Well either way.. (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874350)

they are doing a helluva lot better then linux on the desktop.

In The Ghetto's Journal: In the Ghetto Part XI (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874398)

Reza unfastened the tape that secured the diaper around Marticock's waist. A gag reflex gripped her stomach as the powerful stench of Marticock's hour-old feces assaulted her nostrils. As Reza wrestled with the baby's kicking legs, the fat hanging from her arms rippled and quivered. Reza tried to hold back a cough as her stomach squeezed around the massive lunch she had just eaten. The attempt was futile and Reza coughed and choked simultaneously, causing a large wad of mucus to land on Marticock's face. Marticock clumsily wiped away the mucus with his waving arm and licked it off his hand.

Reza turned Marticock over on the changing table, so that he layed on his stomach. His bottom was smeared with brown goo, which had Vlad's semen mixed in with it. Reza's mouth watered at the sight of the milky white fluid. Her sexual desire burned so strongly within her, that it blinded her to Marticock's feces-smeared butt and all she could see were the love juices of her beloved Vlad, who sat farting in the living room of the double-wide. Reza's mouth watered.

It had been so long since Vlad had shot a load into her multi-chinned mouth. Her jowls quivered like the giant hanging testicles of a prized race-horse. Reza longed to once again partake of the fruits of Vlad's testes; she became entranced; the room melted away; marticock dissolved. The perimeter of her vision narrowed until all she could see was the thick white fluid. Reza lowered her face to Marticock's ass and began to lick the stale semen. It's cold saltiness made her mouth come alive. As she devoured more and more of the fluid, she began to lick more vigorously, until Marticock's ass had been licked clean.

That was just enough to whet her appetite. Reza flipped Marticock over onto his back and took his genitals into her stench-ridden mouth. She sucked on his scrotum and tiny penis all at once. Marticock gurgled with a satisfaction he could not begin to comprehend. Reza was so enchanted by her tender moment with her son, she did not hear the heavy thuds making their way down the center of the double-wide.

Marticock's bedroom door, paper-thin as the walls, flung open and Vlad stood at the entrance wearing his stained t-shirt and yellowed white briefs. Vlad farted with rage, "what in the hell do you think you're doing to my son, you fat cunt?"

A burst of gas was ejected from Reza's bowel by the tensing of her colonic nerves, "I, I..."

Vlad's face reddened and the vein in his temple began to throb, "I told you Marticock is MINE!"

Reza covered her face with her massive arms as Vlad stormed over to her. He raised a massive hairy fist and brought it down upon the quivering tub of lard, "I'll teach you to screw with my Marticock!"

"My Marticock," Vlad yelled, as he repeatedly beat the elephantine woman, "My Marticock!"

"My... Marti... COCK!"

Reza crumpled into a bawling heap on the dirty carpet of the double wide. As she lay shaking and crying, Vlad pulled his thimble-sized penis through the opening in the front of his briefs. He massaged his penis until it was hard and then plunged it into Marticock's ass, which was wet with Reza's saliva.

"Awwwwww, yeah," Vlad gasped.

In the Ghetto Part XII

Editor's Note: a small portion of Chapter XII was leaked out a bit early, causing the context of the chapter to be entirely lost. We apologize for the error.

The universe you see around you is not all that there is. For everything that exists, there is an antipode to its existence. For every idea, there is an antithesis. Our own reality, viewed from the other side, is a very different place. This "mirror universe" is an equal but opposite shadow of our own. It can be called the Evil Universe as well, because although our own universe is held together by the laws of order that bind atoms, molecules, planets, and even human souls together into harmony, the mirror universe is held together only by being a twisted perversion of the true reality.

In the Evil Universe, everything is the opposite of its true nature, and nothing is as it seems. But sometimes, the ephemeral substance of reality grows weak. Sometimes, those who know the secrets can look from one universe into another, and see things as they might have been.

This is one such story.

In the Evil Universe

Vlad woke up with a jolt. His alarm clock was ringing. Reaching over his wife, his best-friend, his life-long companion, he turned it off, and gazed lovingly into her dreary eyes. "Hey sexy," he said, giving her a soft kiss. "I need to get up and go to work."

In the True Universe

Vlad woke up to the smell of feces. Reza had shat herself again, and even to a scat-lover like Vlad, this was too rank to stand. He saw from his clock that it was 2PM. Well, it was still rather early, but he decided to get out of bed before he passed out from the stench. As he stood up, he punched Reza in the face. "Wake up, bitch," he said, trying to dislodge his fist from the folds of her chin. "You just ruined the sheets again."

In the Evil Universe

She stared longingly at him as he softly got out of bed and walked towards the door, still in his underwear and robe. He turned on the light and was surprised to see breakfast already waiting for him. He ate the biscuits, eggs and bacon that his wife had made for his, relishing every second. He loved his wife's cooking.

In the True Universe

She glared at him as he got out of bed and walked towards the door, his own bare ass dribbling liquid feces onto the floor. Reza hadn't shat the bed at all, Vlad had just blamed her again. Vlad looked around the empty, filthy kitchen (the food they bought with their welfare check didn't last long with their appetites). Grumbling, he picked up a few live roaches on the floor and crunched into them. His mood improved a bit. Then, he found a large discarded half-full tub of rotting lard under the sink. Yes!!

In the Evil Universe

He took a quick shower and got dressed. "I'm off to work honey," he called out to her. "Okay, have a good day!" he heard Reza respond. Vlad walked into the computer room and sat down to begin work.

Being a successful small-business enterpeneur, Vlad could afford the luxury of working at home to spend more time with Reza and his only son, Marti. He turned on Windows XP and checked his e-mail -- he had 32 new orders overnight!!

In the True Universe

Vlad sniffed at his armpits. His shower could wait another week or two; he just took one back in June. Vlad sat down at the computer and began to ineptly flame strangers on the Internet. "Hah, I'm so clever," thought Vlad, as he slowly hunt-and-pecked I OWN A BUSINESS. GO FUCK YOURSELF. onto the screen.

In the Evil Universe

Vlad chuckled. Business had been booming; he had recently earned a lot of money and started to start a substantial college fund for Marti. He also got an email from Trollassor - the daily death threat from him - and one from Rusty, who was requesting Vlad's expertise in weblogs for K5. Vlad gladly assisted Rusty with what he needed, and replied to Trollassor's email with a on-line chuckle and a smile.

He set up the new accounts - a process which took only a few minutes. He answered the few technical support requests he had - of over the 1,000 accounts, he only gets 3 to 4 technical support requests per day, something related to his "excellent service" which he is so proud of.

In the True Universe

Vlad frowned as he checked his e-mail. His last remaining customer was promising to drop him immediately because of the inferior service unless Vlad did something about it immediately. "You betrayer," Vlad thought. "You Judas! You Brutus!" Vlad's ego swelled as his anger rose. His face turned red with fury, and he punched his computer monitor squarely. Fortunately, he wasn't strong enough to break the screen, but he did bruise his knuckles badly. He yelped like a girl.

He slowly typed his response to his only remaining customer: I OWN A BUSINESS. GO FUCK YOURSELF. WELCOME TO /DEV/NULL. YOU LITTLE BITCH. Vlad then deleted the customer's account. He tried, at least. He wound up formatting every filesystem on his computer. Vlad spoke aloud, "Well, either way, the bastard's gone. That'll teach him to fuck with ME! I own a business!"

He now had no customers, but he didn't care.

In the Evil Universe

After taking care of his customers, Vlad entered the room with Reza and Marti, and they both spent quality family time together. Vlad was gushing inside; no one was as lucky as him. No one felt the way he did; he had a beautiful wife, he had a loving child, he had a successful business.

In the True Universe

After getting rid of his last customer, Vlad entered the room with Reza and Martincock. As he snatched up Martincock and yanked off his diaper, Reza protested. "Scott, this has gone too far! You're a sick, disgusting pedophile, and this ends NOW!" She launched herself at Vlad, but when she collided with him, she bounced off and landed on her ass, breaking through the floorboards. Vlad's fury returned. He kicked her in the face. "I OWN A BUSINESS," he screamed. He brought up his knee, smashing into her nose. "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Vlad slammed his fist down onto Reza's skull repeatedly. "WELCOME TO /DEV/NULL!!!" Reza slumped to the ground unconscious with a sickening thud. "You little bitch," Vlad muttered.

Martincock was crying. Well, he was about to cry a lot more. Vlad was exhausted and covered in sweat and stench from his fight with Reza, but that wouldn't stop him. He stroked his penis into an erection and then set Martincock on his lap.

In the Evil Universe

"Life is truly good," he thought to himself.

In the True Universe

Vlad farted. Martincock wailed in agony.

"Life is truly good," he thought to himself.

In the Ghetto Part XIII

Vlad belched as he picked dried chunks of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese from his chest hairs. He popped the crusty dried goodness into his mouth and savored the delightful taste. His stomach accepted the offering gladly and rewarded Vlad with a thunderous pocket of gas. Having cleaned his chest, Vlad leaned back in the makeshift, orange vinyled couch and farted.

Vlad's favorite television program was about to come on, "hey, fat-ass, get your ugly mug in here and turn on the TV!"

Reza thudded into the living room and switched on the television. The T.V. slowly flickered into operation. It emitted a high-pitched squeal for several minutes until the aged components in its cabinet warmed to operating temperature. Once the television was operating at near full capacity, Vlad was greeted with a snowy image and static-tainted audio.

"Fix that picture, Fatty. I ain't watchin' no wrestlin' like that!"

Reza adjusted the tin foil sheets that were wrapped around the rabbit ear antennae of the television. She managed to get the picture to clear up to acceptable levels and sat on the floor and leaned against the couch.

"Vlad, honey, wouldn't you rather play with ME tonight, instead of watchin' the wrestlin'?"

"You gonna have to come up wit' somethin' a hellavu lot better'n that, you fat tub of shit."

Reza lowered her head in shame. She couldn't believe it; she hated to admit it; Vlad no longer made her feel attractive. She decided she was going to get Vlad's attention once and for all. She pulled off Vlad's discolored socks and began to suck on his sweaty pale toes, pausing only to remove the hair from his toes from between her rotting teeth. Reza tenderly put each toe in her mouth and massaged the dirt and crust from them. Vlad moaned - with his ass.

Just as Reza was beginning to work on the second foot, a pounding came from the front door. The loosened screen door clattered loudly and roused Vlad to awareness, "whaa...."

"Don't worry, Vladdy-poo, I'll get it..."

Vlad grimaced as his voluminous wife managed to lift herself from the floor. The ordeal left her drenched with sweat and gasping for air. But she liked being in that condition, feeling that it brought her closer to her beloved Vlad. Reza lumbered over to the front door, each gargantuan footstep rattling some piece of second-hand junk purchased at the local flea-market. She looked through the piece of velvet tacked over the broken glass of the front door, "it's your step-sister. what's she doing here at this time of night?"

"I invited her over, you fat stinkin' cunt."

Vlad launched himself from the couch with an extraordinary burst of flatulence. He waddled over to the door and pushed Reza out of the way. She slammed against the wall, knocking a large hole in it. Reza covered her face with her hands and began to weep as she ran into the bedroom to hide.

"Hey there, kiddo," Vlad greeted his step-sister, "I've been waitin' for ya!"

Mary entered the double-wide with a stupid grin on her face. Vlad patted her robust bottom, "hehehehehe, gettin' plump there, girl!"

Mary had learned well from her time spent with Vlad and responded to Vlad's compliment with a healthy fart. Vlad chuckled again and took Mary by her soft, gelatinous arm, "come on in here."

Vlad led Mary into Marticock's chamber and stripped off the two pieces of clothing he was wearing. Mary grew wet as she was barely able to discern the head of Vlad's penis which was covered with brown, dirty pubic hair. Mary shyly took off her pink top and black slacks. Vlad smiled as he slid over to Mary. He put his arms around her and slipped off her Winnie-the-Poo panties and training bra. Vlad pulled his step-sister close to his body and savored the warmth of her hairless pubic area against his legs.

"Awwwww, yeah, baby, you know I like it like that," Vlad cooed.

Vlad pulled away from Mary, "now, are you ready for your little surprise?"

Mary, grinning from ear-to-ear nodded demurely. Vlad picked her up and, sweating and panting, carried her over to Marticock's changing table. He layed Mary upon the table and gently spread her legs. She closed her eyes and sighed softly.

Vlad walked over to Marticock and lifted him out of the crib. He tore Marticock's diaper off with his teeth and rubbed baby oil on him until he was a small, well-oiled sex toy.

Vlad held Marticock by his legs and walked over to Mary, still waiting on the changing table, "are you ready?"


Vlad shoved Marticock's head into Mary's unripened vagina. He plunged Marticock in and out vigorously until Mary screamed with delight. Her young body could not withstand the ecstacy that Vlad had thrust upon it and, within seconds, her vagina exploded in its first orgasm. As streams of ejaculate shot from between Mary's legs to spray all over Marticock, Vlad squeezed on Marticock's abdomen, causing him to fart violently. The vibration sent Mary's shaking body further over the edge and she screamed with delight.

Vlad farted with satisfaction.

In the Ghetto Part XIV

Vlad was in trouble. His unemployment was due to expire soon and he had not even bothered looking for a job. He had pinned his hopes on his internet business taking off, but in the several months it had been operating, he had actually spent more than he made from it. Vlad just didn't understand how this was possible. Everything he had read on the internet indicated that pornography was a great way to make big money. Not only did he have the widest selection of porn he could find, he also had the most original, using his own pictures of his precious time with Marticock and he had even managed to sneak some pictures of Reza masturbating with a watermelon in the shower. He decided to check the stats on the admin page of his porn site.

Vlad loaded the page and typed in the username, "freeporn" then the password, "freeporn". Vlad's jaw dropped. One thousand downloads in one hour and he hadn't brought in one penny. A bubble of rage swelled within Vlad's gut and escaped noisily through his anus. Vlad wiped away the sweat that was condensing on his brow and decided he would put the fear of God into the thieves that had perpetrated this upon him. Vlad clicked his way to kuro5hin.org and brought up the "New Diary" form.

* * *

Subject: KEEP IT UP!

To all of you BACKSTABBERS that are FUCKING me out of FREE porn: I WILL find YOU and I WILL DEAL with YOU! Once I find out HOW and WHO, I will be PAYING you a little visit. Have you ever seen Charlies Angels? THAT'S the style of MARTIAL ARTZ I practice. YOU will be getting a FREE LESSON in how fast 400 pounds of VLAD can MOVE!

* * *

Satisfied that this would scare even the most insidious of elements, Vlad posted the diary. He farted with satisfaction and shut down his computer. It looked like Vlad would have to go out job hunting. The very thought of it made the skin on his back crawl, but he had to do something. Reza couldn't breast feed Marticock forever and Vlad needed Marticock healthy, since Marticock's ass was the only good thing left in Vlad's miserable life. Vlad grabbed a cold Budweiser from the refrigerator and picked up his toolbox on the way out the door.

The Chevy van had been up on blocks for several months now. Vlad would have to get it running if he was going to find a job. Vlad sighed heavily and dejectedly walked over to the van. The oil plug was laying in the grass underneath the van; Vlad had to drain the oil one night when he ran out of vaseline to use on Marticock. Vlad also remembered, in his drunken haze, that the battery was dead on the van and he hadn't been able to figure out how to recharge it. His cousin had lent him a battery charger. Vlad walked over to a crumbling wooden box that sat next to the door of the double-wide. He fished out a can of two-cycle oil and the battery charger.

Vlad screwed the oil plug back into the pan and dumped the can of two-cycle oil into the block. He was already panting and sweating from all the exertion, but he still had to charge the battery. Vlad tried to remember the instructions that his cousin had described. Hesitantly, Vlad removed two of the spark plug cables on the van - one on each end of the engine. He placed one of the alligator clamps on one spark plug and the other clamp on the other spark plug. Vlad couldn't see anything happening so he banged on the engine with his hammer, then noticed an electrical cord attached to the battery charger.

"Aha!" Vlad thought. He took the plug and shoved it into an outlet attached to the outside of the double-wide. A great arc of blue energy rose from the engine of the Chevy van and crackled high in the air. The energy bolt vanished as all the lights in the neighborhood went out.

Vlad was exhausted. He disconnected the battery charger and tossed it in the back of the van. He guzzled the remainder of his beer and dropped the can on the driveway before returning to the double-wide for another Budweiser.

In the Ghetto Part XV

Vlad's three chins quivered with delight as he tossed another prozac into his mouth. The pills were doing very little to relieve Vlad's boredom. He sat on the orange couch in his underwear and continued to stare at the flickering images emitted by the television. Vlad was so numbed by the prozac that he didn't notice the clattering of the front door as Reza wallowed into the double-wide.

"Good news, Vladdie-Pop!"

Vlad drooled as he grunted.

"I took all of your empty beer cans I found laying on the floor and sold them! Look! I got twenty dollars!"

A new life sprang into Vlad's eyes, "let's celebrate, you fat fuck!"

Reza beamed as she nodded, "yes!"

One-by-one the neighbors closed their windows and shut their blinds as the Chevy van banged and chugged slowly down the street. Occasionally, a child would peer out from between the blinds and point and laugh at the primer-colored van as it spewed smoke out of the tailpipe.

Vlad had managed to get the van running, but only barely. Even though he had the gas pedal pushed to the floor, the van would only go 30 miles per hour. Once in a while, the van would lunge forward with a great, momentary burst of speed - just enough force to knock some part from the engine and then it would settle back down to its slow pace. Vlad thought this was good though, as it would give him an excuse for being late for work if he ever did find a job.

Eventually, the van completed the 10 mile journey to the movie theater and Vlad parked in a nice handicapped spot. He fiddled with the door handle until it gave way and the door opened and Reza, carrying Marticock, joined him in front of the theater.

"Yeah. I've been wanting to see this," Vlad exclaimed excitedly.

"Look Vlad," Reza pointed to the billboard, "Fried Green Tomatoes 2 is playing!"

Vlad farted, "we're gonna see Blade 3 and you're gonna like it, you fat tub of shit!"

Reza sighed, "yes dear."

The line at the box office was long, but Vlad and Reza and Marticock eventually got their tickets and were seated in the theater only minutes after the movie had started.

Vlad sat his extra-large popcorn and extra-large Coke in the seat next to him. He unzipped his pants and fished out his stiffened penis. He took Marticock from Reza and sat him on his lap, so that his penis penetrated Marticock's anus. Vlad grunted loudly and was admonished with several "shhhhhh" sounds from the audience.

Reza noticed that Vlad was molesting Marticock right there in front of her and began to sob loudly. Vlad paid no attention as Wesley Snipes flashed onto the movie screen, "Yeah! That's what I'm talkin' about Jigabro!" He yelled.

Marticock, his anus irritated and bleeding, began to cry. Vlad tried to soothe him by thrusting his penis in and out of Marticock's anus. It was to no avail. Several audience members began to throw popcorn at the Lockwoods. Some even shot ice at them through straws. But Vlad paid no attention, as he cheered on his hero, screaming with pleasure and farting with excitement.

Eventually, the movie ended and Vlad and Reza, carrying Marticock again, left the building among a large crowd. Vlad, still having visions of Wesley Snipes, was incompetently immitating several of the martial arts moves he had seen in the film when a scrawny black teenager walked up to him, "say, you fat white motherfucker, what's yo' problem anyway? Didn't yo' mamma teach you any manners?"

Vlad's face became flushed with rage, "did you see the martial arts in that movie? THAT'S the style of martial arts I practice."

Vlad bent his legs and brought his arms up in a blocking position, "You're gonna get one free lesson, punk."

With one swift jab and a loud crack, Vlad was flailing on the ground like a turtle that had been turned upside-down, "wha.... where am I."

Reza screamed with terror, "Vladdie-Pop are you OK?" As she knelt to tend to Vlad's bleeding nose, her fat, flopping breasts spilled out of her top.

A large group of people were still filtering out of the theater and they all laughed and pointed at the three Lockwoods.

"Shut-up! You are all evil, evil people!" Reza yelled.

A small girl quietly tip-toed up to Reza and pushed her massive butt. That was enough to cause Reza to topple over onto Vlad, with Marticock sandwiched between them.

The crowd of people laughed harder as they passed by.

Vlad noticed Marticock pressed against his stomach and became aroused. He fished his penis out of his pants again and penetrated Marticock's anus.

Reza farted.

In the Ghetto Part XVI

Vlad muted the television and perked his ears up. He thought he heard a loud banging on the door. Popping another 10mg of Prozac, his fifth of the day, Vlad decided he wasn't hallucinating and farted. Hoisted himself up from squatting position on the couch, he scratched at his crotch through his stained briefs, and waddled on over to the door. The pounding was still going on, and he was sure the screen door would need fixing, which meant it would hang dented forever. Scott opened the door.

Starata bellowed as he ran in through the opened doorway, knocking Scott to his ass. Pots and pans scattered about and garbage spilled all over the kitchen floor as he rolled around trying to regain his footing. Scott's arms and legs waved in the air, like a beetle turned over on its back. A dung beetle, that is.

"This abuse of my beautiful daughter must stop now, William Scott!" Starata yelled in a thick Slovenian accent. "You no treat her right, she is so much woman for you and you disrespect her. You disrespect me too!" he added as he gave Scott's gut a kick.

Scott stood upright, sweat pouring over his face. The room filled with the smell of Vlad's unhealthy colon as he farted in anxiety. It was some sort of animalistic defense mechanism when he felt threatened, akin to a skunk's musk gland.

Screaming at the top of his lungs, Vlad began his default threat. "Ever see TERMINATOR 3?! THAT'S the kind of--"

Vlad was stopped short by a punch to the gut, followed by more angry yelling by Starata.

"You live in squalor! You are nothing more than fat, lazy bum who can not provide for my beautiful Slovenian star. Get a job! Work! Keep food on the table!"

Vlad shook with rage, the old familiar feeling of someone rubbing his failed life in his face rising in his considerable gut. One would think that at this point Scott would be used to his failures and people pointing them out, but he found himself in the middle of yet another violent rage. The difference this time was that he was in the room with Reza's father, who proved a little harder to manhandle than Reza did. Vlad tried once again to threaten the old man.

"I own a business. Go fuck yourself!" he squawked. "Welcome to /dev/null!!!"

With this, Vlad leapt at Starata, arms held in some pseudo-martial arts maneuver. Starata, arthritis and all, was a foot away by the time Scott reached him. Vlad connected with thin air, the lack of resistance causing him to lose his balance. He fell face-forward into the dog's food dish. Wet, liver-flavored mush covered his flabby chin and Coke-bottle glasses. He sputtered and spat pieces of the foul-tasting paste onto the kitchen floor.

Starata kicked Scott in his ass, again pressing Vlad's fat head into the dog's dish.

"You have job in week, or I come back with shotgun!" the old Slav promised. With this he turned on heel and walked out of the door and down the rickety wooden steps, away from 1205 Dearborn. Fences dogs barked at his passing well after he had left in a trail of exhaust smoke.

Vlad, crying in rage he was not able to properly vent, could think of only two things that would make him feel better right then and there.


In the Ghetto Part XVII

Vlad opened the door to the double-wide. His jaw dropped. Standing before him were three figures, all of the exact same proportions. They were tall, lithe and dressed completely in a black cloth of some manufacture that Vlad had never before seen. He imagined the material came from some exotic land, possibly Canada. The only part of their bodies not covered in the space-age cloth were their eyes, which were two points of bright light that were shining a deep red. The only distinction among the three figures were white symbols on their chests. The first sported an 'A', the second a 'V' and the third a '3'.

Inside Vlad's skull, a complex set of reactions were taking place. Neurons connected to emit a series of electrical impulses that flowed slugishly through the sludge of his mind. Some of the impulses escaped into brown, rotting nerves and oozed slowly throughout his body and into various atrophied muscles. The muscles, many of which Vlad hadn't used in ten years, twitched and churned into life. In the fifty three point two seconds it took Vlad's body to adjust itself into the "Crane" stance he had seen in the movie the "Karate Kid", the mysterious figures had all darted into the double-wide and positioned themselves behind him. To Vlad, the three images had barely registered, merely a flicker in his eye that could have been the shadow of a bird flying high overhead.

'A' grabbed Vlad's cold clammy arms and bent them around so that his wrists were brought together behind his back. He then swiped his leg in a circular motion, causing Vlad to trip and fall on his stomach. 'A' disappeared into the double-wide while 'V' cut a circular hole in Vlad's briefs with a laser knife. He shoved a hose into the hole and stuffed it up Vlad's twitching anus. 'V' tossed the other end of the hose to '3', who affixed a gas mask to the hose. He then attached the mask to Vlad's face.

By the time Vlad had realized that his Crane Stance had failed, 'A' returned with Marticock. He closed the door of the double-wide and 'V' joined him in front of the door, with Vlad watching. 'V' held Marticock against the water-warped door while 'A' produced a bag of gleaming, silver-coated 10 inch nails. One-by-one he put the nails in a nail gun and shot them into Marticock, affixing him to the door.

Vlad screamed in horror. His entire body trembled. His face was drenched with sweat. His heart choked as it constricted in his chest, trying to push the thick syrupy Lockwood blood through huge rock-beds of solidified cholesterol. His bowel revolted. Soon, Vlad's intestines were pumping huge volumes of gas out his anus... and into the hose. Vlad choked on his own flatulence. His lungs burned from the unholy stench. Vlad felt himself rolling over, out of his own pale, disgustingly obese body. He felt himself falling.

Vlad had no senses in the tradition he had been accustomed to his entire life. But he had an awareness at a different level - a level that he simply understood as Natural, but he could not comprehend. He sensed himself falling at tremendous speed to an unimaginable depth. Then...


Vlad jerked to consciousness. His body was drenched with pungent sweat. His heart was pounding blood through stiffened arteries. He anus burned from the gasses violently escaping from it. He opened his eyes and found himself on his bedroom floor, wallowing in a unique blend of potato chip and cookie crumbs. Slowly his senses returned to him and he realized Reza was snoring like a hippopotamus wailing for a mate.

It had all been a nightmare.

Vlad got up slowly and peeled off his urine-soaked briefs and stained, sleeveless v-neck t-shirt. He thudded out of the bedroom and down the hall to Marticock's chamber. He slowly opened the door. Vlad could see nothing in the darkness of the double-wide, but he could hear and smell Marticock's infant farts. The farts that made him so proud. The farts he would get to nurture and mold into full-blown Lockwood eruptions. His penis rose to attention upon detecting the tiny vibrations emanating from Marticock's bowel. Vlad oozed into the nursery and closed the door behind him.

In the Ghetto Part XVIII

"Wake the fuck up, you ugly cunt," Vlad belched as he unbuckled his belt. It was Sunday, and it was time for the weekly eating fest.

Vlad and the human tractor-trailer Reza had already been banned from every all-you-can-eat place in Joliet. Aside from the health violations from Vlad's frequent shitting his pants, they would typically eat literally truckloads of food at a time. They were directly responsible for the demise of more than one all-you-can-eat restaurant.

Vlad opened the phone book to the bookmarked page. He picked up the phone and clumsily dialed the numbers with a narrow stick since his fingers were much too fat for the telephone.

He belched as the phone rang. A gruff voice picked up and said "Anderson and Julius Subcontracting, this is Bruce." Vlad nearly ejaculated in his pants -- this was the fat guy whose services he had used before.

"Yeah, you fat fuck, I need you to bring a forklift to put my whale of a cunt wife in the back of my truck." Whenever Vlad and Reza went out together, he used Anderson and Julius Subcontracting to remove Reza from the house and put her in the bed of the truck, like a lowly cow.

Hours later, a forklift and heavy crane was on site, removing Reza from the house and placing her into the bed. Typically, the sheer weight of Reza would pop all 4 tires on the truck as soon as she was set in. Vlad was forced to buy solid-tires for the truck to compensate for his fatass of a wife.

Vlad farted. "Let's go you stupid cunt" he said when she was finally in the bed. Vlad opened the door and barely squeezed in and sat on the shit-stained leather. While carrying such a massive load, the truck could travel no more than 15 miles per hour.

As Vlad crawled down the Interstate in the far left lane, cars and cars were swerving dangerously to avoid hitting the fatass wife. Legally, the vehicle was now an "oversized load", since Reza's flab would droop over the side of the truck. Each lane to either side of the truck was mostly unusable since Reza's flab would oscillate precariously and create the possibility of hitting cars.

Cars backed up for literally miles behind the oversized couple. Reza shat herself and than came in the excitement of the vibrations. Shit was flying out of the back of the truck and onto the windshields of the cars behind him.

"Watch what your doing, you fat fucking bitch" Vlad shouted. Finally, a Highway Patrol agent caught up to the gruesome twosome and fulled him over.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? You fat wife is spewing shit onto the cars," exclaimed the highway patrolman. He was fat, but compared to Vlad and Reza, he was as skinny as Ally McBeal.

"You fucking cunt, I'm going to whip you." Vlad squeezed out of the truck and took a phone cord in his hands. The highway patrolman jumped toward Reza to protect the gigantic ass. At the same time, in sheer terror, Reza shifted her weight.

The enormous change in weight altered the center of gravity so much in the truck that it tipped over, falling directly on the patrolman. He was crushed on tons of fat and 50 pounds of steel. Killed immediately, blood squished out of him, as toothpaste coming out of the container.

"Stupid fucking cunt," Vlad said.

In the Ghetto Part XIX

Marticock stared vacantly at the large stuffed animal that sat propped against the side of his crib. The bear was a gift from Marticock's grandmother and, at a subconscious level, it comforted him. The toy was three times Marticock's size and far too heavy for him to move with a casual tug. Marticock's unsteady hand reached out to the bear and grasped the arm. He pulled on the toy two or three times, then grew weary. Marticock rested a moment, panting, sweating and farting.

Once he was rested, Marticock rolled over onto his stomach and pulled his body toward the bear. The friction against his penis, roughly the size of the ball from a ball-point pen, caused him to get an erection and fed his determination. With a few more pulls, Marticock had dragged himself to the bear. He rested on the floor of the crib, panting and sweating and drooling.

Marticock regained his strength and pulled himself up, using the bear as a brace. Marticock let go of the bear and then let himself fall against it. The bear fell over onto its face. The bear was made so that it was always in a sitting position and so, it sat on the floor of the crib with its rear high in the air and its face to the floor.

Marticock clumsily fiddled with his diaper until it came loose and he pulled himself along the crib, causing his diaper to slip away from his pale, clammy body. Marticock grabbed onto the sides of the bear with each hand and pulled himself onto it, so that he was mounting it.

Marticock moved his waist around until his tiny penis penetrated a tear in the bear's seam. He thrust against the bear several times until a strange sensation flooded over him. Marticock was far too young to ejaculate but, as is always the case with Nature, a compensatory mechanism was invoked. As the endorphines flooded little Marticock's little brain, his little intestines clenched tightly, expunging a quick, wet stream of liquid feces, chased by an incredible boom of flatulence. Spent, Marticock collapsed on the bear, his penis and bowel twitching.

Elsewhere in the double-wide, Vlad farted. It wasn't his normal style of anal eructation. This was one of Vlad's special farts. The kind of fart that Vlad had always found to portend something of significance. Subconsciously, Vlad analyzed the frequency of the anal vibrations created in the wake of the fart; his nose studied the molecular composition of the gasses; his ears classified the tonal resonances.

Deep in Vlad's mind a realization congealed out of the slime and slowly bubbled its way into consciousness: his son had become a Cockwood.

In the Ghetto Part XX

Vlad awoke with a start and an alarmed fart. There was a buzzing in his chest, just under his left boob. This was it, his heart was giving out Vlad thought. Vlad clutched at the source of the vibrations. Under his pendulous man-boob was his alarm clock. At some point in the night he had rolled over on to the clock and it had become enveloped in his ample, sweaty flesh. Vlad let out a sigh and fart of relief as he pulled the clock from between his fat rolls. It was 1pm, Vlad had to be at his appointment by 3pm. Plenty of time for Vlad to prepare.

Even though Vlad had his monthly shower only 3 weeks ago, he decided it would be best to wash up. He rolled out of bed and hit the floor with a thud. The boards creaked as his spheroid body lurched its way across the stressed floor. Vlad bypassed the bathroom, mold and the weight of him and the ever expanding Reza had caused the bathroom to collapse into the basement. He went right to the backyard. The sprinkler was right were he had left it from his previous washing. Vlad's sausage like fingers reached down and clutched at the valve to turn on the water. Vlad turned and dropped the tarp that was covering his massively naked body. The neighbors have all erected 10 foot privacy fences. Vlad yells out, at his prudish neighbors. "You are all fucking prudes. I am not ashamed of my body. I am all man!" There is a shout from behind the fence: "Shut the fuck up, you fat fucking fuck." Vlad turned beet red, he let out an angry, defensive fart.

"What the fuck did you just say?!? I am going to fucking kick your ass! You ever see Finding Nemo? That's the kind of Kung Fu I practice. Get over here and let me give you a free lesson," Vlad warbled thru his bulbous neckmeat.

Vlad strained to hear his opponents pleas for mercy in the face of his fighting skills. Nothing, just the sounds of a back yard BBQ. Vlad yelled out again: "I said come over here so I can kick your ass!" Still nothing. Vlad let out a lonely fart. He mumbled something about the fierceness of his fighting style as he made his way to his bathing pit.

The water had saturated the ground and Vlad's stubby legs sunk in with each step he took. It made a sucking sound as he pulled his leg up. The noise reminded him of his nightly fuck festivals he has with his favorite sex toy, Marticock. Oh, if only Marti was here now. Vlad's normally flaccid penis was standing tall at a full 1.25" and was looking to bareback a baby. But, Vlad put this out of his mind as he concentrated of getting ready to go. After a few minutes of water running over him, Vlad set back in to the house. The muddy lawn was now covered by an oily, sour milk smelling film. All living things are now dead or dying.

Vlad wanted to make a good impression at his interview. He had read in the paper that a local Fortuen 500 company had lost their CIO, Vlad could do that. He was the CIO for El-Arse Hosting, a ISP catering to Gay Arabs and other hardcore fetish sites. Since he wanted to look important, Vlad decided to do a bit of Laundry. He wobbled over to the pile of laundry that festered in the corner of the room. He Kicked the pile over, it expelled a cloud of mold spores that almost choked Vlad, but, the barrier if stench that encloses his body repelled them. Vlad pulled a can of Raid from out of Marticock's toybox. He sprayed it's cleansing pine scent towards the pile. Various bugs made a run for it. Vlad grabbed the least stained wife beater and put it on. Vlad tucked in his boobs and pulled up his pants. This was such an important event, Vlad even wore underwear. Or, at least, he work Reba's. They were the same size as his: 5XL. "Brown in back, yellow up front," Vlad chuckled to himself as he slipped them on over his pants.

Vlad was ready to go. He squeezed out the front door and stepped around the hole in the front porch. Last week, he had tripped while stepping on the porch and fell thru to the foundation. Vlad muttered about how the flooring was substandard. His slumlord had tried to tell him that wood could not withstand his weight of his lard filled body. But, Vlad knew different. Vlad strained to lift his leg to get up in his van. An anxious fart escaped from the folds of Vlad's ass as Vlad slid into the steel reinforced seat. The suspension on the old clunker groaned as it tried to support Vlad's corpulent body. Vlad turned the key and the started clicked. Vlad slammed his ham hock like foot on to the accelerator. The engine gave out a sputter and was forced to life. Vlad Starts the tape player on his boombox. His 8 track burned out. Vlad was forced to record his Eminem mp3s at the library. The boombox still showed the scars from being rolled down the handicap ramp, with Vlad, by the librarians. Vlad threw the transmission in reverse and floored it. Before Vlad could even start singing along to his hero, the van came to a jerking halt. Vlad had his a cop cruiser.

Vlad slammed his van's door open. He could barely contain his rage. The cop exits his vehicle and asks Vlad if he is ok. Vlad can't hold it anymore. An angry fart rattles from his cavern like anus alerting everyone within earshot to the upcoming fury. "Why don't you fucking cops watch where the fuck you are going?!? You think you can just fuck with me? Have you seen Seabiscuit? That's the kin..." Vlad didn't even notice the tazer pistol in the cops hand. Not until 50k shot thru his dough like body. Vlad dropped like 700 pounds of cookie dough and his the pavement with a dull, meaty thump. The contractions from the charge has caused Vlad's bowel's to violently contract. Expelling fecal matter, semen and methane gas out of Vlad's ass. Sadly, the sparks from the tazer ignite Vlad's methane sending him rolling down the street like a flaming pinwheel.

Reza is getting off of the cross town bus as she sees her love, Vlad, rocketing by. She drops the government cheese and Marticock and she sits on the curb and cries. Marti looks at his mother and all she can do is release a defeated little fart.

Re:In The Ghetto's Journal: In the Ghetto Part XI (1)

sdguero (1112795) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874852)

Ummm. Mod parent totally fucked up please.

Yep... (4, Informative)

E IS mC(Square) (721736) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874434)

And Linux has already beaten them both in server,mobile devices and embedded systems market. What's your point again?

Re:Yep... (2, Informative)

the linux geek (799780) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874528)

Windows ships more servers by both revenue and volume than Linux. Mobile devices, if you mean consumer electronics, are largely Linux, but embedded systems (especially lower-end ones) are not.

Re:Yep... (1)

h4rr4r (612664) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874586)

And how many servers are shipped bare?
I bet most of those end up as linux boxes.

Re:Yep... (3, Informative)

the linux geek (799780) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874604)

Very few. Most servers from major OEM's (HP, IBM, Fujitsu) which make up a large majority of server sales will include an OS, whether its Windows, Linux, or a proprietary system.

Re:Yep... (1)

h4rr4r (612664) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874620)

I buy from HP and DELL, we alway buy bare boxes so that surprises the heck out of me.

Re:Yep... (1)

the linux geek (799780) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874674)

I didn't say that you couldn't buy them bare, just that it was fairly unusual. I doubt it makes up the difference between Windows and Linux ($6.3bn vs $2.5bn, 1.5mn units vs 450k units, according to IDC in Q4 2010.)

Re:Yep... (1)

h4rr4r (612664) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874706)

Revenue is pointless to look at, MS charges way more and Centos is on many servers. Units is more interesting, and I now am wondering where they get their units figures. Not saying anything is wrong with them, just 3 times the units does not match what I see on a day to day basis in server rooms. Maybe other parts of the earth are not like my little area.

[Citation Needed] (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874728)

Very few. Most servers from major OEM's (HP, IBM, Fujitsu) which make up a large majority of server sales will include an OS, whether its Windows, Linux, or a proprietary system.

[Citation Needed]

Re:[Citation Needed] (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875282)

Very few. Most servers from major OEM's (HP, IBM, Fujitsu) which make up a large majority of server sales will include an OS, whether its Windows, Linux, or a proprietary system.

[Citation Needed]

[Common Sense and/or Ability to Google Needed]

Re:[Citation Needed] (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875430)

So OP doesn't have either, since he couldn't conjure a reference to go with his claims?

Re:Yep... (1)

blair1q (305137) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875216)

That there's money in desktop, and nerds in those other things.

Re:Well either way.. (1)

ron_ivi (607351) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874702)

> they are doing a helluva lot better then linux on the desktop.

In sales revenue for desktop software, sure.

But that's like analyzing the breathable-gas market and claiming tobacco smoke is a more valuable breathable gas than fresh air because one has tens of billions of dollars of annual revenue, while the other has ~$0.

the only number that matters (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874360)

#2. That's your butt. And my post number.

Re:the only number that matters (1)

WrongSizeGlass (838941) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874482)

#2. That's your butt. And my post number.

In the Navy we call it our "6", you insensitive clod!

Windows phone to take off? (2)

symbolset (646467) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874370)

Yeah, that's gonna happen.

Re:Windows phone to take off? (1)

sourgum (1765206) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874388)

The only folks that I know that have Windows phones work for Microsoft. Just sayin'

Re:Windows phone to take off? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874822)

The people I know that work for Microsoft have mostly iPhones or Android devices. Except one guy that is actually on the WP team.

Re:Windows phone to take off? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875152)

wearing a button at best buy doesnt count

Re:Windows phone to take off? (1)

MrEricSir (398214) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874396)

Sure, it's gonna take off... in a garbage truck.

Re:Windows phone to take off? (2)

Hultis (1969080) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874448)

I haven't tried a Win7 phone (heck, I've never even seen one), but I do think MS might be able to push it enough to become a success. Reviews have generally been quite positive, and if they can use their market share from Windows and XBox and create some kind of easy porting method it might become at least a moderate success. It will probably take a couple of years before the platform can actually compete though, if that ever happens.

Re:Windows phone to take off? (1)

jonbryce (703250) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875138)

I don't think they will push through. Why? 5 words. Developers, developers, developers, developers, developers. They are all writing for Android and iOS.

Re:Windows phone to take off? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875404)

I don't think they will push through. Why? 5 words. Developers, developers, developers, developers, developers. They are all writing for Android and iOS.

Funny, the WP7 marketplace has grown faster than any other marketplace.

Re:Windows phone to take off? (1)

theweatherelectric (2007596) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874452)

Yeah, that's gonna happen.

It might happen. Nokia will be pushing Windows Phone hugely at the start of next year, so much so that I suspect they'll discount their initial models quite heavily. Windows Phone usage will no doubt grow, it will just be a question of by how much.

Re:Windows phone to take off? (1)

davester666 (731373) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874546)

By 'hugely', you mean they are going to flog the hell out of the SINGLE phone they'll have ready by then?

Re:Windows phone to take off? (1)

theweatherelectric (2007596) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874626)

By 'hugely', you mean they are going to flog the hell out of the SINGLE phone they'll have ready by then?

Yes, similarly to how Apple flogged and continues to flog the hell out of their single iOS phone.

Re:Windows phone to take off? (1)

symbolset (646467) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874716)

At the current market trend by early next year Nokia will have 10 percent smartphone share, which is where MinMo was at on WP7 launch. They will have gone through a year of selling almost no phones. They will be nearly broke. Their carriers and retail vendors will be trained to expect poor sales from both Nokia and WP7 - both together wil not make the product more appealing. They will have to buy shelf space at premium rates. And the phone featureset wil be competetive with 2007. And that's even if Microsoft manages to get the sw running on their phone, which is by no means certain.

Nokia is too late to help here.

Agreed. (4, Interesting)

mosb1000 (710161) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874462)

I'm going to have to agree. I don't know anyone who is planning to get (or is excited about the possibility of getting) a windows phone. Add the fact that many (most) companies are now supporting iOS and Android on their corporate networks, and what you come up with is a market already filled with devices superior to anything Microsoft could offer. No one is going to willingly downgrade to a windows phone.

Re:Agreed. (1)

tepples (727027) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874504)

No one is going to willingly downgrade to a windows phone.

Unless, say, the mobile side-game [tvtropes.org] for one's favorite Xbox 360 game is Windows Phone exclusive.

Re:Agreed. (2)

UnknowingFool (672806) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874760)

That's the problem I see with WP7 getting more marketshare. MS is trying to appeal only to consumers who are their current customers. It's not trying to get more general consumers. Is Xbox Live integration a good feature? Yes, if you already have it. If you're talking about my grandmother who has doesn't care for a "YBox" or "PlaySituation" or a "Whey", it's no good for her.

Re:Agreed. (1)

theweatherelectric (2007596) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875156)

Is Xbox Live integration a good feature? Yes, if you already have it. If you're talking about my grandmother who has doesn't care for a "YBox" or "PlaySituation" or a "Whey", it's no good for her.

I imagine the intention is to use XBox Live as the backend for games on Windows Phone. So if your grandmother cares about Angry Birds she will perhaps end up caring about XBox Live as well.

Re:Agreed. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875188)

Hold the fuck up! You mean to tell me you can play games on your CELLPHONE??? Sign me up!! Oh, wait...

Re:don't know anyone planning to get excited (1)

TaoPhoenix (980487) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875102)

I dunno, in an oligarchy like we have now, you have this twisty spread of Rock Scissors Paper.

We know all of what evil MS was capable of in their prime, so now their humility looks like "we can't pull our tricks, so we'll smile a little."

So then you dance to the "Rebel Company" aka Apple. You spend a while debating "dominant vs rebel". Then you consider the Android Clones.

I know what MS is, I feel like Tech needs a little bit of a jolt.

No (5, Funny)

theweatherelectric (2007596) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874386)

But numbers don't lie — or exaggerate.

That's a lie — and an exaggeration.

Re:No (1)

bennomatic (691188) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875092)

The main thing that numbers (or at least the people trumpeting them) exaggerate is their own importance. That is to say, for example, "X OS outsells Y OS on Z type of platform, so X wins!" To which the retort is, "Well, Y OS earns ten times the revenue, so Y OS wins!"

People like to use car analogies (Yugo vs. BMW), but I've recently decided that, at least in the mobile market (I know, off topic, but related), a better parallel would be a comparison with restaurants. These days, anyone but the most ironic hipster would probably be hesitant to drive a Yugo, but every day, people choose to eat at MacDonald's, or PF Changs, or Chez Panisse. If you look at the profits, the unit sales, the societal impact, the "objective" quality of the product, the status associated with each, you could make a case for each and every one of them "winning". However, doing so really just exposes your own bias.

Back to the main topic, Microsoft and Apple each have their own strengths and weaknesses. In general, I prefer Apple products to MS's, but while I've never considered buying "Numbers", I have purchased multiple versions of Excel over the years. While I like my iPhone, I might give WP7 a try when my current contract is up if it looks like developers have taken to it and there's a good app market. And so on.

The point is that no level of quality on the menu at Chez Panisse will ever make MacDonald's go away, and no level of cost cutting at MacDonald's will ever make PF Chang's go away, and so on. Similarly, Apple and Microsoft (and a few of the other giants) are all big enough and diversified enough that it doesn't matter if they lead a particular market. They're not going away.

The biggest question, of course, is whether a particular product is sustainable for them. Google is notorious for dropping products that don't have enough of a following (Wave?); Microsoft has done the same thing (Kin?). I can't think of any big recent ones from Apple--after Steve's return, they've pretty much pared down their offerings and remained close-lipped about them so the projects they kill die before release. But that's the only thing that would really matter to me when choosing a device or OS or other product platform: will it be orphaned.

Meh (2, Insightful)

geek (5680) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874390)

Apple stock is way over priced and has been for a while. Microsoft on the other hand is on the decline in almost every way. Not sure I really care about either company.

Re:Meh (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874430)

Do a little research or maybe learn a bit about simple Wall Street evaluation before you spout off nonsense like AAPL being over priced. The price off the stock does not have anything to do with that.

Re:Meh (3, Insightful)

dougmc (70836) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874550)

Do a little research or maybe learn a bit about simple Wall Street evaluation before you spout off nonsense like AAPL being over priced. The price off the stock does not have anything to do with that.


You don't think a company's stock price has anything to do with a company's stock being overpriced?

(I'm not saying I agree with any claims that the stock is overpriced, but your statement is ludicrous.)

Re:Meh (2)

symbolset (646467) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874868)

Price is only one component. Berkshire Hathaway shares have a high price, but there is a strong case for them being a good value. Apple PER less cash is ridiculously low for a company that's growing profits this fast and has so much more market share to gain in markets that are themselves growing quickly.

Re:Meh (4, Insightful)

getNewNickName (980625) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874470)

Overpriced compared to what? Compared to Microsoft? Apple has year-over-year EPS growth numbers that are over twice as high as Microsoft's. Stock valuation is based on expected future earnings growth. If you said that Google or Amazon are way over-priced compared to Microsoft you would have a legitimate argument since their earnings growth thus far has only matched Microsoft yet their P/E ratio paints a different picture. Let's focus on facts instead of vague hand-waving.

Re:Meh (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874522)

Stock value is SUPPOSED to be based on future earnings growth. In the case of stocks like AAPL, stock price is based more on the fact that the shares keep increasing in value (not unlike tech stocks in the late 90s). When I hear my friends/coworkers who know nothing about the stock market saying that they want to buy AAPL because they hear it keeps going higher, I know that it's a bubble waiting to burst.

Re:Meh (3, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874548)

Apple would have to quadruple their revenue to make their revenue meet their market capitalization. Does that not sound overvalued to you?

Re:Meh (5, Informative)

rolfwind (528248) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874502)

It's P/E is not extravagant or that high.

MSFT has plateaued since the early 00s because people have seen it really can't innovate beyond OS/Office line. The whole Xbox division has lost money to gain it's prominent position this generation of consoles. The Zune was mostly meh. It came out early in tablets/smartphones but despite that couldn't make anything people needed to have.

The day Steve Ballmer steps down is the day that stock will start gaining again. Even better if they get a CEO with an iota of division and the power/desire to kill the bureacracy that is stifling that company. I wonder how much of their workforce are just leeches who have a cushy job that produces little/no value to the company.

Re:Meh (1, Insightful)

joocemann (1273720) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874694)

The lead people at MS are killing the company. I have no doubt about it.

Have you ever read the e-mails from Bill Gates to his top guys at MS? The e-mails where he describes his intent to use windows movie maker and ended up in an hours-long fiasco of installing all kinds of crap and encountering dysfunction along the entire path? If not it is worth googling.

I had this EXACT same experience, except I wasn't a former owner writing e-mails... I was just a guy laughing at how ridiculous it was.

I attempted to get windows messenger for windows xp. Normally to update messenger, it offers an update. But this was not working at all (lol). So I decided to go to www.microsoft.com and dig up the software. Even though their website detected my OS, it gave me the download to Windows Live Messenger that was *NOT* for XP. I downloaded and attempted to install twice, only to be faced with a 'corrupted file' error.... funny.. because it wasn't corrupted.. it just didn't run on XP.

So after bumbling around a bit and curiously wondering why the regular update didn't work and their site's download didn't work... I stumble upon the fact that there is a separate messenger for XP. When I get to that page, which is on microsofts site, it doesn't render well. The page, viewed in MS internet explorer, was dilapidated and you couldn't actually hit the SELECT LANGUAGE box!

Funnily, I just checked, and its STILL screwed up! http://explore.live.com/windows-live-Messenger-XP [live.com] This was months ago I saw this and it is STILL screwed up! Notice how the "Download Windows Media Player Plugin" text overlaps the "Choose Language" box and you can't actually click the box!

I had to dork around with this page for a good 15 minutes before I somehow got to select a language.... from there I finally got my download and got windows messenger for XP installed.

THE TOTAL PROCESS TOOK ABOUT 55 MINS. And I've been a nerd since 1992 if that gives you any reference to how fast I can usually solve problems.

I was laughing the whole time, yet outrageously irritated. I was laughing because it is clear to me that the people running microsoft are clearly and without any question trying to kill the company. They are by neglect or deliberate act, ignoring every important thing that matters in software. Bill Gates complained a lot, and in his fervor, you can sense he wanted his software to operate like Apple's does.

Re:Meh (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874784)

Funnily, I just checked, and its STILL screwed up! http://explore.live.com/windows-live-Messenger-XP [live.com] [live.com] This was months ago I saw this and it is STILL screwed up! Notice how the "Download Windows Media Player Plugin" text overlaps the "Choose Language" box and you can't actually click the box!

Maybe if you updated from IE6 you'd have more success.
55 minutes and you didn't think to get the latest supported browser for your OS? Hand in your geek card, you failed.

Re:Meh (2)

joocemann (1273720) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874858)

I had the latest Internet explorer that was available through windows update. I'm pretty sure it was newer than IE6.

That's weird how you assumed it was IE6 even though I never said it was. I just checked the site in Firefox 3.5.7 and it is still screwed up looking as I had described.

What was your point again? To make an ass of yourself with assumption?

Re:Meh (1)

snowraver1 (1052510) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875166)

I was able to open it in Firefox 3.6.16 just fine. I also was able to open it using IE8.

Re:Meh (1)

Vectronic (1221470) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875226)

Opera 11.1, Chrome 10, Safari 5, and IE8 all work fine... Firefox 4, and Aurora, both screw up... but in the case of a layout malfunction, they all have an "Inspect Element" (for Opera or Chrome, for IE it's Developer Tools, or View Source for Firefox/Safari) where you would be able to get the link from. Just a suggestion for the future.

Re:Meh (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875062)

Turn in your nerd card, please.
I navigated to that page and I couldn't use the mouse to select to a language. Hit tab until the drop down box is selected and use cursor keys to choose language.
Total time: 5 seconds.

Re:Meh (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875044)

They can start by killing the HR policy's and CSPs that are driving employee's away by large numbers, it is also driving graduates away from full time work. Nobody wants to be "forced" on a career path, velocity, that is what they do.

They leave for a company they can do real work in and less bullshit clown dancing in manager's offices for a promotion by forced HR policy, Promotional Driven Development is MSFT's HR policy. I know, ive been there for a decade.

Re:Meh (2)

ElBeano (570883) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874520)

You were modded up as insightful, but for many straight quarters, Apple has been performing very well. Their stock price reflects real world, historical performance. If you happen to know that they are headed for an earnings drop, please tell us how you know.

Re:Meh (1)

jonbryce (703250) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875230)

The stock price reflects future growth potential. The price of a utility stock such as AT&T reflects real work historical performance. It has a P/E of 9.06, Apple's is 18.85, meaning the market expects Apple to more than double its earnings in the future.

Re:Meh (2)

jo_ham (604554) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875394)

Considering that they released the iPad 9 months ago, in one of the most successful product launches in history, and were able to continue to grow their profits in a global economic downturn, and continue to grow their smartphone user base, and continue to increase their computer market share, I think that's not too far away.

Despite many claims that they'd be a flash in the pan, every year they have continued to grow.

Re:Meh (2)

ceoyoyo (59147) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875410)

According to the article Apple has septupled their profits since 2006, so a mere doubling doesn't seem particularly farfetched.

AAPL overpriced? Are you on crack? (3, Insightful)

jamrock (863246) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874566)

Apple's P/E is only about 18.5, and the case has been repeatedly made that the stock is ridiculously underpriced. Case in point. [cnn.com] I can't believe your neck fart was modded insightful.

The stock market, the bond market, the commodit... (0)

Colin Smith (2679) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874712)

All correlate with the Federal Reserve Quantitative Easing programme.

EVERYTHING is way overpriced.

Re:Meh (2)

Daniel Phillips (238627) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875008)

At P/E of 18.9 I would have to disagree with you. Unless Apple's earnings were to collapse dramatically in the short term, 18.9 is a fairly modest multiple for a tech company showing strong growth and ownership of multiple market segments. Yes, Android is coming on strong but that negative is already priced in, otherwise Apple's P/E would be somewhere in the mid 20's. Note: I am in no way an Apple groupie. I detest Apple's corporate culture and getting anywhere near an Apple product makes me ill. But a fair analysis is a fair analysis all the same.

By the way, having exceeded Microsoft in market cap, Apple would now seem to aspire to exceed Microsoft in moral bankruptcy. Just a thought.

Try taking off the apple tax! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874422)

Remove like 15-20% due to apple tax inflating costs.

Then another 5% for hipster smugness.

The Old New Thing (0, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874454)

This is Apple versus IBM all over again. Look how that worked out. When is Steve Jobs going to realise that his obsessions are screwing over the ordinary guy? Let's face it. The guy hasn't changed that much and he dropped the ball and nearly crashed the company last time around. He's as out of touch and greedy as he ever was only this time instead of storming out in a blaze of publicity he's signed up to getting an authorised biography done. Only this time around it's not going to be a computer company like NeXT but a grave and the hereafter.

From the other side he'll be madly laughing to himself as the seeds of his own arrogance caused Apple to miss the boat on getting an affordable OS X out to the masses and someone carries the blame again. The last time I checked nobody has returned from the grave unless you count unprovable fairy stories so there isn't going to be a Steve Jobs returning on a cloud to save the day. That's a challenge for Apple management to butch up and meet peoples needs and market demand while they can. There will be no NeXT 2.0 to save the day.

Re:The Old New Thing (1)

scotts13 (1371443) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874486)

I'd try to calm down before posting next time - and check a few facts. Take a look at what happened to Apple without Steve Jobs... and what happened last time Apple let other companies use their OS.

Re:The Old New Thing (1)

vijayiyer (728590) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874498)

The whole point of the article is that it's not like Apple vs IBM all over again. You forgot to take your blinders off some 10 years ago.

Re:The Old New Thing (4, Insightful)

SilverJets (131916) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874588)

He's as out of touch and greedy as he ever was only this time instead of storming out in a blaze of publicity he's signed up to getting an authorised biography done.

Lol, wut? Out of touch? Really? Did you happen to notice the iPod? Apple cornered the marked on portable, digital music players and everyone else had to play catch up. Which none of them ever managed to do.

Have you seen the iPad? Again, Apple has cornered the market and yet again the competitors are racing to catch up with Apple having already launched its 2nd gen iPad.

From the other side he'll be madly laughing to himself as the seeds of his own arrogance caused Apple to miss the boat on getting an affordable OS X out to the masses and someone carries the blame again.

Affordable OS X? Go to any computer store that sells Apple products. The disk for OS X costs about $30. 30 DOLLARS. How farking much does cheapest hobbled version of Windows 7 cost?

Re:The Old New Thing (3, Interesting)

BlackSnake112 (912158) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874780)

But according to Apple, you also have to own/buy apple hardware to install that $30 OS on.

Considering Apple went out of their way to stop people from installing OSX on netbooks, the AC has a point. If Apple had to support OSX on every type of Intel and AMD platform I am not so sure their "smooth OS experience" would be there across the board.

Re:The Old New Thing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875192)

Yup. Apple surprised everyone with IS X and the switch to Intel. It built up a lot of interest. Apple then blew it. Ballmer may be as dumb as a brick but is now making Apple look evil. This isn't because Microsoft are putting out good products or are even a particularly nice company. It's the fact that Jobs is so arrogant and autistic. He just doesn't get real peoples practical needs nor the fact they have to eat.

There's a chance Microsoft will keep Ballmer on and Microsoft will crash on its own leaving Apple to ride the surf. The problem is that won't happen with a dictator like Jobs at the helm. The very thing that gives him his arguable genius is the very thing that's getting in the way. Apple won't change unless Jobs changes. He can't or won't do that so has to die or leave before Apple collapses and exists the OS market.

Anyone who knows anything about history and culture can pick out countless examples of this. If the obsessive emos on Slashdot stepped out of their nerd cubes for one moment, and the investors took their eyes of the wads of illusory stock profits they're building they'd know this. But they don't want to because it's not the story they've hitched their wagon to. Apple won't be the first of its type to go down hard and, believe it or not, cease to exist. The more wedded they are to Jobs the sooner that will happen.

Re:The Old New Thing (1)

jo_ham (604554) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875418)

"Out of their way" being a non-encrypted install DVD with no serial numbers and no activation system with a single text file that says "please don't steal OSX" that you have to remove before burning a bootable copy on a non-apple machine.

That's so far out of their way, I agree.

Re:The Old New Thing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874732)

Gotta laugh at all you guys replying to my "The New Old Thing" post. You're attacking the cliché like a cliché. If that doesn't make you stop to think behind the manufactured headlines and hype I don't know what will.

One of the things that said about a genius is they don't think they're especially clever but wonder why everyone else is so stupid. If you think that's a wake up call aimed at you it is.

Re:The Old New Thing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875052)

When is Steve Jobs going to realise that his obsessions are screwing over the ordinary guy?

When it no longer pays.

I'm sure I'm speaking for a lot of people here (1)

future assassin (639396) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874472)

"Please hook us up with your dealer!!" what ever you're popping/snorting we want some too.

Does that mean (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874480)

I must start hating apple and loving Microsoft ?

Analyst's expectations are far fetched (1)

arivera71 (1415917) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874492)

Analyst's are assuming that just because Microsoft partnered with Nokia their smartphone businesses will come back from the dead by gravity!!! Guess what... I don't think that's ever going to happen. Both Microsoft and Nokia have demonstrated that they are dinosaurs and they don't understand new technologies. Even worst, they don't understand consumers!!!

Re:Analyst's expectations are far fetched (1)

UnknowingFool (672806) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874654)

Yeah, the so-called experts just moved Nokia's current market share over to Windows Phone without really explaining why and declared the Windows Phone the winner. It is not guaranteed that the MS/Nokia partnership will generate a lot of sales. The first phone will be years away and I don't expect Apple or Android to sit and wait for Windows Phone to catch up. MS and Nokia both have a lot of work ahead. Execution has not been a strong point of MS since Ballmer took charge.

People won't be buying Windows Mobile... (4, Insightful)

joocemann (1273720) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874554)

... because they *like* or *prefer* it.

They will (mostly) be buying it because they don't know any better, or that it is "The OS" that is present on the phone they were sold.

Windows Mobile has been and always will be a trash OS. Glitchy, crashy, unreliable, clunky, odd..... I have multiple years of experience and wished for something akin to iOS or Android the whole time.

---I fear the only way they can predict WM will outrun iOS is because of some form of anti-trust action in business producing exclusivity and limitation of OS choices. This is par for the course for microsoft and its business model; when the consumer doesn't like it, buy up, control, and limit their choices. In the end, they know the consumer pays for MS crap rather than not have technology.

Re:People won't be buying Windows Mobile... (1)

Idbar (1034346) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875298)

Hey, perhaps WM never worked for you, as you expectations were different. I switched from mi HTC wizard to an iPhone, and I gained lots of applications, but I started losing calls. As a phone WM worked well and with a fairly powerful browser it gave me what I needed, and its processor speed was less than 200Mhz. I never recovered from that. And eventually has to switch to a 1Ghz android. Now... As time passes I realize that for the actual processing power, WM5 worked quite well.

two point data extrapolation.... (1)

DrYak (748999) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875344)

I fear the only way they can predict WM will outrun iOS [...]

This is the most ridiculous claim of TFA.
They only provide 2 data point : 2010 and 2011, where Microsoft has clearly a fraction of Apple marketshare, but is showing some slight improvement. And out of this, the analyst predict the value of 2012 and 2015 and think that by then Microsoft will dominate the market ?!?

It mostly reminds me of that [xkcd.com] .

Re:two point data extrapolation.... (1)

ceoyoyo (59147) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875436)

The prediction is based on Nokia choosing to go with Windows 7. For some reason the analysts think that a) Nokia is going to put Windows 7 on all their phones and b) people will actually buy those phones in the same numbers that they buy current Nokia phones. If those two miracles were to happen then Windows 7 would top Apple's phone market share.

numbers don't lie/exaggerate, but... (4, Insightful)

CannonballHead (842625) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874556)

the interpretation can.

For example: $1k invested in 2000, AAPL vs. MSFT. What about 1985? 1990? 1995? Hindsight is 20/20, as the saying goes. Apple has had success with some of it's more recent Jobs products. But nobody KNEW that would happen before-hand. Apple has gone up and down; has Microsoft done the same? Was MSFT less of a gamble with a smaller potential benefit, whereas Apple was a gamble with large potential benefit? (I don't know, I'm only asking questions that could color the interpretation of these "infallible numbers" ....)

Or, how about this one: revenue vs. profits. MSFT is still beating Apple in profit. So ... which is more important? Total stock price? Profit? Total revenue? ...

Or how about diversity of revenue? If suddenly iPhones and iPads went out of style, where would Apple be? If Windows phones went out of style, where would Windows be?

Interpretation of numbers is a big deal in comparing two companies... and there's a lot more to a company vs. company debate than revenue, profit, stock price/market cap, and phone sales... especially when products come and go as trends, and when one company has already shown that it falls apart without a certain CEO.

AAPL over MSFT if "diversity of revenue" matters (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875204)

MSFT has ONE revenue source: their Windows monopoly.

If anything even chips away at that, MSFT's business model is DOOMED.

Which is why Apple, Linux, and Google combined SCARE THE LIVING SHIT out of MSFT execs.

Which is why MSFT poops its collective pants whenever any government anywhere makes a purchasing decision of any kind that chips away at what Judge Jackson rightfully called the "barriers to entry" that MSFT maintains.

Gartner wishful thinking... (1)

alexhs (877055) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874558)


However, both Gartner and IDC predict Microsoft's Windows Phone will beat out Apple's iOS for mobile market share by 2015

Yeah, that's what everyone predicts from the market share trends :

  • USA [eco-conscient.com] (3rd graphic)
  • France [lefigaro.fr]

Or maybe MS will continue its slow descent into hell...

Kinect. (3, Insightful)

w0mprat (1317953) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874600)

Everyone forgets about Kinect. Which outsold iPhones, iPads, iPod touchs, combined. It went on to break the Guiness World Record for the fastest selling consumer gadget of all time. Mod me down as a troll or whatever but: Thats Pretty Fucking Impressive. Frankly Apple's wonderously profitable, despite having nothing like the market share of other players, that is all.

We're all still so besotted with shiny iThings and Microsoft bashing groupthink that we've kind of ignored this revolutionary human computer interface. Things being done with Kinect by hackers are seriously cool and ultimately this is the technology that is going to be the technology that the forthcoming consumer robot revolution will see the world with.

Microsoft is hardly old news, it just isn't a news media and Wall Street darling like Apple. Microsofts been sinking billions into user interface R&D over the last little while, too much criticism, yet they now have something pretty revolutionary and record breaking to show for it.

As soon as they stick Kinect in a smartphone they'll have a hit on their hands.

""It's a matter of opinion which company makes the better operating system or is likely to grow its smartphone market share. But numbers don't lie â" or exaggerate."

Yeah numbers don't lie - Apple still has a niche desktop install base, and a smaller market share of mobiles than Android, and growth has plateaued in each area. Tablets are where Apple will inevitably dethroned, but I'd bet they hold out longer since their lead in this area is bigger. Historically Apple having any kind of lead has been a temporary thing.

Re:Kinect. (1)

h4rr4r (612664) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874962)

It sure did, but did it pay for the debt the xbox project has?
That debt goes back all the way to the first one.

Re:Kinect. (2)

rhook (943951) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875432)

The XBox has been making a profit since before the start of 2008. They even had $165 million in profit for Q3 of last year.

http://www.pcworld.com/article/148982/xbox_delivers_a_profit.html [pcworld.com]

http://www.pcworld.com/article/148982/xbox_delivers_a_profit.html [pcworld.com]

And lets not forget that while Microsofts profits are falling that the XBox and Kinect profits are growing.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2011/jan/28/microsoft-profits-xbox-kinect [guardian.co.uk]

You were saying?

Re:Kinect. (1)

avatar139 (918375) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875028)

Historically Apple having any kind of lead has been a temporary thing.

I'm curious to know what your definition of temporary is given the fact that since 2004 the iPod has had over 90% of the market for hard drive-based players and over 72% of the market for all types of portable music players?

Re:Kinect. (2)

geek (5680) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875210)

This is perhaps anecdotal but truthfully, the mp3 market is changing rapidly thanks to smart phones. I gave my iPod away a long time ago and haven't looked back as my Android phone(s) have been capable of doing a lot more. With the rise of smartphones the decline of mp3 devices will increase until it goes the way of the sony walkman. That I think leads into the "temporary" part of the Apple dominance thing.

The iPod was and remains a great device but it's usefulness is going to be short lived if current market trends continue.

Re:Kinect. (1)

rhook (943951) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875456)

You numbers are wrong, just look at all the non-Apple smartphones that are on the market. Those also happen to double as portable media players.

Re:Kinect. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875400)

Work for microsoft?

Re:Kinect. (2)

SplashMyBandit (1543257) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875438)

Kinect has competitors. One done with (Open Source) software and an IPhone also produces impressive results:
http://www.i-programmer.info/news/105-artificial-intelligence/2310-predator-better-than-kinect.html [i-programmer.info]

Neither the Kinect nor XBox will cause investors to love Microsoft. Just as well there are still loyal fanbois who have blinkers on to what is going on outside of Redmond. The rest of us see Microsoft in a similar way to IBM; big, bloated, and not going away anytime soon, but not exciting either - it's just not in their corporate DNA to make a radical change (the 'addiction' to the Windows/Office cash-cow ensures this).

Bought my first Mac (1)

the-matt-mobile (621817) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874664)

I've been a lifelong Windows user (happy about it too), and up until recently never thought that would change. But, as I was researching my options for a new laptop, I found I couldn't get what I wanted (256GB SSD, 13", ultra light, long battery) for any cheaper buying Dell/HP/whatever so I bought a refurb Macbook. I'm a .NET developer though, and I never never never never never would have even thought of buying one without Parallels so that I could run Windows. I'm not sure that my anecdote is representative of the recent Mac surge at large, but I sure am one who can be counted in both camps. This is one of those statistics that I'm not sure represents the whole story. I wonder how many Mac owners run just OSX, because I suspect that most PC owners run Windows exclusively by a wide margin.

Re:Bought my first Mac (1)

cinnamon colbert (732724) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874700)

"lifelong [happy] windows user" I mean, really !!
Couldn't get the laptop I wanted (256 gb SSD), I mean really - you represent 0.01% of the market ?

Re:Bought my first Mac (2)

the-matt-mobile (621817) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875036)

0.1% of the Slashdot crowd, maybe. But you delude yourself if you believe that plenty of folks aren't happy with Windows. Now, yes - the specs I wanted for my laptop aren't super-typical for someone in the market for a Dell, but so what? My point still stands - I highly doubt that Apple is killing Microsoft in any way right now in the markets where they actually compete. People aren't choosing Apple over some Microsoft alternative - that was the battle from 2 decades ago. The more interesting comparison is how Apple is doing against Dell, HP, Samsung, and Sony as Apple is a maker of devices... the software part of their business is ancillary.

Re:Bought my first Mac (1)

mortonda (5175) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874994)

I've been a lifelong Windows user (happy about it too)

Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me.... ;)

Re:Bought my first Mac (1)

the-matt-mobile (621817) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875196)

I know you're trying to be cute, but I think that's part of the problem. I run a Linux server at work for secure file transfers and we have a legacy Apache box serving PHP pages for an old website. We run Cygwin on many of our Windows servers. But the truth is - and I recognize I'm not in great company here at Slashdot - that Windows is plenty fine for most in the consumer space. Windows 7 is the best OS MS has ever released, and the adoption rate blew away OSX's total market share in a matter of months. I like OSX okay I guess (typing from it now), but I certainly wouldn't pay a premium for it. I paid the premium for superior hardware. That's what Apple does really, really well.

Re:Bought my first Mac (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875412)

The real problem is that you - and the other people in this thread - are comparing windows to Apple OS, or Linux, instead of asking, what do I expect from an OS ?

For instance, I am typing this on a pretty run of hte mill dell laptop, with windows 7; the machine has a problem recognizing usb thumbdrives. Now recognizing a periphreal is a basic part of hte OS; yet in my case, and I'm sure many others, windows is a big PITA. Of course it is not as bad as office 2007 (cant group text box and picture; error bars in excel charts screwed up; etc ad infinitium) but still.

yesterday, I tried to install a powerline adaptor on my old XP box; a cat5 connects the computer to the adaptor, which plugs into a std 110 wall socket; down in the basement, you plug another adaptor into a socket and cat5 to the router, and voila, no more problems with weak signal from the wireless router.

after an hour of frustration, I found, by accident, that the Cat5/powerline adaptor worked ONLY when a USB wireless adaptor was plugged into 1 of the 4 identical USB ports.....you can blame 2nd party vendors all you want, but this sort of hair tearing crap is so common with windows

backup....need I say more ?

why does anyone take Wall Str numbers seriously ? (4, Insightful)

cinnamon colbert (732724) | more than 3 years ago | (#35874682)

I mean, these are the guys selling toxic mortgage backed securities as "AAA" while simultaneously shorting the securities as junk
Wall Str is where one number can come out, and suddenly a company is worth 10, or even 20% less then yesterday
I could go on, but this blind faith in the "market" - which is really a relatively small # of conservative white guys who all live suburbs that are the same across the country - this faith is silly.

Computerworld confirms it: Microsoft is dying (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35874870)

It is official; Computerworld now confirms: Microsoft is dying

One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered Microsoft community when IDC confirmed that Microsoft market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all mobile phones and pads. Coming close on the heels of a recent Computerworld survey which plainly states that Microsoft has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Microsoft is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Engadget comprehensive apps store test.

You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict Microsoft's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Microsoft faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Microsoft because Microsoft is dying. Things are looking very bad for Microsoft. As many of us are already aware, Microsoft continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.

Microsoft Windows 7 Mobile is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core developers. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time Windows 7 Mobile developers Matt Miszewski only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: Microsoft is dying.

Fact: Microsoft is dying

Re:Computerworld confirms it: Microsoft is dying (1)

blair1q (305137) | more than 3 years ago | (#35875370)

Lister: Where is everybody, Hol?
Holly: They're dead, Dave.
Lister: Who is?
Holly: Everybody, Dave.
Lister: What, Captain Hollister?
Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave.
Lister: What, Todhunter?
Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave.
Lister: What, Selby?
Holly: They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave.
Lister: Petersen isn't, is he?
Holly: Everybody is dead, Dave.
Lister: Not Chen?
Holly: Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave.
Lister: Rimmer?
Holly: He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!
Lister: Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?

Where is the Ferengi Steve Jobs icon!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35875184)

Bill Gates doesn't work at Microsoft any longer. Put up the Microsoft logo, like Slashdot puts up the apple logo, or put up a Ferengi Steve Jobs for all the apple stories.

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